I've realized that I have some confessions to make.
I'll do it here so only few people can see it.
But if I confess, it'll make me feel a little better.
Here goes.
* I hate my body.
* I get so angry with myself that I dig my nails into my skin, leaving bruises and nail marks mostly in my hip area.
* I don't feel pretty unless I have makeup on and no imperfections on my face.
* I don't feel pretty unless I haven't eaten and my stomach is aching for food.
* Before I have forced myself to believe I was sick just so I could get the contents out of my stomach. Only 3 times.
* When I don't eat until dinner, I feel accomplished and proud, but when I have dinner I feel fat and too full.
* I give myself reasons to eat junk food and then hate myself for days afterwards.
* When I step on the scales and see I've gone up just a little bit, I'm disappointed in myself.
* I'm scared that I'll be alone forever.
* I contradict myself constantly. eg. I say curves are better yet I strive to get thin.
* I hate females. I hate when they try too hard to be cool, I hate when they think they have something in common with me and take it too far to the point that they're competeing with me.
* I can't stand losing or being wrong, so I avoid arguments and conversations that are oppinionated.
Nobody knows about this because I don't want attention.
I don't want to know what people think. It's a pain that I have inside, I know I should ignore but I definitely don't want to share it with people.
ANYWAY
On a lighter note, I am happy right now which is why I could handle typing this and telling the truth.
Can't wait for the sims 3!
