Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mon amour. Sims 3.

I've realized that I have some confessions to make.

I'll do it here so only few people can see it.
But if I confess, it'll make me feel a little better.
Here goes.

* I hate my body.
* I get so angry with myself that I dig my nails into my skin, leaving bruises and nail marks mostly in my hip area. 
* I don't feel pretty unless I have makeup on and no imperfections on my face.
* I don't feel pretty unless I haven't eaten and my stomach is aching for food. 
* Before I have forced myself to believe I was sick just so I could get the contents out of my stomach. Only 3 times.
* When I don't eat until dinner, I feel accomplished and proud, but when I have dinner I feel fat and too full.
* I give myself reasons to eat junk food and then hate myself for days afterwards. 
* When I step on the scales and see I've gone up just a little bit, I'm disappointed in myself. 
* I'm scared that I'll be alone forever.
* I contradict myself constantly. eg. I say curves are better yet I strive to get thin. 
* I hate females. I hate when they try too hard to be cool, I hate when they think they have something in common with me and take it too far to the point that they're competeing with me.
* I can't stand losing or being wrong, so I avoid arguments and conversations that are oppinionated.

Nobody knows about this because I don't want attention.
I don't want to know what people think. It's a pain that I have inside, I know I should ignore but I definitely don't want to share it with people. 

On a lighter note, I am happy right now which is why I could handle typing this and telling the truth. 
Can't wait for the sims 3!


  1. first one, last one and the "i'm scared i'll be alone" one.

    is mee aswell.

    and the nails.
    i dig my finger nails into the skin around my thumb nails, iunno whyy, i do it when i feel like i've done something i shouldn't have.

    you've inspired me.

  2. I'm a guy, and I thought being scared of ending life alone happens only to us(males). You girls can at least get a child if you can't keep a man with you for a long shot.
    Plus, a pretty girl like you is the dream of so many men! Cheers.