Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Mon amour. Sims 3.

I've realized that I have some confessions to make.

I'll do it here so only few people can see it.
But if I confess, it'll make me feel a little better.
Here goes.

* I hate my body.
* I get so angry with myself that I dig my nails into my skin, leaving bruises and nail marks mostly in my hip area. 
* I don't feel pretty unless I have makeup on and no imperfections on my face.
* I don't feel pretty unless I haven't eaten and my stomach is aching for food. 
* Before I have forced myself to believe I was sick just so I could get the contents out of my stomach. Only 3 times.
* When I don't eat until dinner, I feel accomplished and proud, but when I have dinner I feel fat and too full.
* I give myself reasons to eat junk food and then hate myself for days afterwards. 
* When I step on the scales and see I've gone up just a little bit, I'm disappointed in myself. 
* I'm scared that I'll be alone forever.
* I contradict myself constantly. eg. I say curves are better yet I strive to get thin. 
* I hate females. I hate when they try too hard to be cool, I hate when they think they have something in common with me and take it too far to the point that they're competeing with me.
* I can't stand losing or being wrong, so I avoid arguments and conversations that are oppinionated.


Nobody knows about this because I don't want attention.
I don't want to know what people think. It's a pain that I have inside, I know I should ignore but I definitely don't want to share it with people. 
ANYWAY

On a lighter note, I am happy right now which is why I could handle typing this and telling the truth. 
Can't wait for the sims 3!

2 comments:

  1. first one, last one and the "i'm scared i'll be alone" one.

    is mee aswell.

    and the nails.
    i dig my finger nails into the skin around my thumb nails, iunno whyy, i do it when i feel like i've done something i shouldn't have.

    you've inspired me.

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  2. I'm a guy, and I thought being scared of ending life alone happens only to us(males). You girls can at least get a child if you can't keep a man with you for a long shot.
    Plus, a pretty girl like you is the dream of so many men! Cheers.

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